But internally He saw him as a sakhi. Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda both would console Him when the great inevitable flow of love in separation arose in the heart of Mahaprabhu, ostentatiously disturbing Him. These two friends tried their best to console Mahaprabhu. Diverting His mind towards different directions, they would read from sastra according to the circumstance, sometimes giving impetus to His own line of thought and sometimes taking Him towards other directions. They tried their best to give Mahaprabhu relief from His outwardly painful gestures and movements. For twelve years, continuously they did this.
A Mystic Poem
baulake kabiha loka ha-ila baula
In this mystic poem Advaita sent this message to Mahaprabhu through Jagadananda Pandita. Mahaprabhu read it and became disturbed. Svarupa Damodara, the knower of everything, wondered what was the real meaning of this poem. Mahaprabhu answered in an indirect way, "I don't know what is the real purport of this poem, but I will venture a guess. Advaita Acarya is very conversant with the ways of the sastra and the conduct of worship of the Deity. In worship we first invite the Deity with an invocation, then for some time the Deity remains to receive our service, and when that is fulfilled, the Deity departs. We cannot keep Him forever. When the purpose for which He descended is accomplished, it is best that He retire. I don't know what is the real meaning, but I guess it is something like that." Then Svarupa Damodara was disturbed. "Advaita Acarya is bidding adieu to us all."
After that Mahaprabhu stayed for twelve more years, and His mood was not approachable by the ordinary public. Such was the high mood of separation from Krsnato the greatest degree, different manifestations were displayed, physically and mentally. For twelve years He burned continuously like fire. He exhibited the fire of separation.
That is not found elsewhere, such intense feeling of separation from God. It was not known in this world that the spirit of separation from God could be so intense, that it could produce so many symptoms in the body and the mind. We will only find an acquaintance with this in the life of Srimati Radharani. But there also we do not find such a complete manifestation of the pangs of divine separation. Such a degree of evolution we do not find anywhere, at any time: continuous, high intensity of divine love, so much sacrifice.
He manifested such intense sacrifice at the altar of the All-beautiful. Such appreciation for the Absolute beautiful, such deep attraction has never been seen anywhere in the history of the world, not even in scripture. No mention is found in any of the oldest scriptures. That was exhibited just the other day, only five hundred years ago. And it is written in the books, it is verified by so many genuine persons, men of standard thinking. There were witnesses: Rupa, Sanatana, Raghunatha, Svarupa Damodara, Ramananda, so many others, all so many eye witnesses.
So the practice of Gaura-nagara is not accepted by the bonafide school of Sri Caitanyadeva's followers. There is a controversy. Gaura-nagaris think that we should see Gauranga as Krsna, as He is given in the Bhagavatam. But Vrndavana Dasa Thakura, Kaviraja Gosvami, the Gosvamis and others have rejected this idea about Gauranga.
The brahmana, the acarya, has come to do the work of a preceptor, not of a nagara, an enjoyer of girls, as we find in Vrndavana. It cannot tally; it cannot be proper. There is a hitch. He has taken the position of an acarya, and at the same time He is to play the part of a debauchee? That cannot come together. The law of rasa won't allow that.
When a man enters the temple to worship the Deity, he may go there with his wife to help in serving naivedya (to prepare offerings) and other things, to assist in the worship. But she may not banter lightly with her husband in the temple. That will be rasabhasa, incompatible. There is a particular mood. When the husband is engaged in worshiping the Deity in the temple, the wife may go there and help him with the materials and other necessary things, but she won't share any light conversation with her husband. No merrymaking is possible there.
Similarly, Mahaprabhu has come in a serious mood to distribute divine love to the world, and with the Holy Name of the Lord He has spread Krsna consciousness. He has taken the position of a preacher, a reverent position. So these two things cannot go together.
Bonafide Moods of Devotees
Govinda told Mahaprabhu, "Jagadananda Pandita has brought a full pot of candana oil, and his request is that You should take it now and then, smear it on the head, then You will have a sound sleep and this may help Your health." "No, no, no. This sandalwood oil will emit a good scent and the people will remark that this sannyasi consorts with a woman. He applies good scented oil to His head. I can't do that. Rather it is My advice that you take it to the temple of Jagannatha and there it will burn, the light will burn with this scented oil and Jagadananda will receive much benefit thereby. Govinda, remove it from My room."
After Govinda gave it up, Jagadananda Pandita took it and directly in front of Mahaprabhu smashed it on the floor. All the oil spread there. Then he went straight to his room and took to his bed for three days. After three days, Mahaprabhu heard that Jagadananda was fasting continuously since breaking the pot. After the fourth day, Mahaprabhu Himself went to him. "Jagadananda, Jagadananda, rise, open the door. Today I shall take prasadam cooked by your own hand. I will not take any prasadam elsewhere. I shall return at the proper time and I shall take My food here today, cooked by your own hand."
What could he do? Jagadananda had to get up. So he cooked, and Mahaprabhu came with Govinda at the proper time and took prasadam. He remarked, "Oh, they are very sweet. Today the dishes are very, very sweet. Cooking with a hot temper makes them sweeter." He remarked like this, "You take your food now, before I go. Before I leave the place, I want to see that you have taken food." "No, no, no, Prabhu, You may go, then I shall take food. Of course, I must take food." Then Mahaprabhu said, "Govinda, you take your seat there and when he has finished eating you will inform Me. You sit there, I am going."
That is the vama-bhava of Satyabhama. Gadadhara Pandita is just the opposite. When Svarupa Damodara tried to incite him by saying that Mahaprabhu was enraged and making harsh remarks about him, Gadadhara said: "No, no, no, how can I react? He is my Lord; toleration would be better for me. I can't venture to react in the same manner. It is not good, and I do not like that. It would be bad to assert myself, to make some remark against the advice and the consideration of Mahaprabhu. I can't do that." In spite of Svarupa Damodara's incitement, Gadadhara Pandita did not dare chastise Mahaprabhu.
Sometimes Radharani feels ashamed within Her mind. She thinks, "What does He say about Me?" Lalita Devi replies, "This shame is very bad. You just sit quietly. You do not know Your own interest. I know what is Your interest, Your position. I cannot tolerate that Your dignity should be minimized in any way, ever." That is the spirit of Lalita Devi, of Svarupa Damodara.
Svarupa Damodara is the constant companion of Mahaprabhu in Puri. He is a scholar of the highest class and also a very good singer. Without consideration of his elevated social position, he will perform the simplest service. Svarupa Damodara is there always, everywhere with Mahaprabhu. When Mahaprabhu was lost, the devotees inquired after Him the whole night and Svarupa Damodara was there with a lantern, moving along the seashore, looking for Him.
At the source of her aggression and interference in the affairs of Radha and Krsna we find a great and deep affection. This justifies all her activities as the leader accepted by the associates of Radha-Krsna. She always veers towards that Couple with such a standard. She can't tolerate a drop of sweat on the foot of the Divine Damsel. On that level she works, as if with millions of bodies she wants to correct it, to remove that drop of sweat. She can't tolerate any trouble, not the least trouble. She is very aggressive and talkative, and goes forward to do anything and everything as if she is mad with leadership. But at the source is her great concern for Them; this justification is there.
Sometimes she chastises Radharani Herself, "You do not know how to behave with Krsna. I will teach You what to do. Don't make Yourself available to Krsna so cheaply. You must be careful of Your own dignity." Lalita takes the position as caretaker of Radharani, always first to look after the cause of Radharani, to espouse the cause of Radharani. And she is always thinking herself responsible for all the affairs concerning Them.
Sometimes she goes to chastise Krsna also, "You don't know the dignified position, what dignified love my friend has towards You. You undermine that. I cannot allow it." From our mundane plane of experience it is not an understandable thing. We are creatures of the plane of lust. Although similar, the difference between the two is great. One is the perverted reflection of the other, the opposite. One is prema, the highest sacrifice, and the other is this lust, gross sense pleasure. It is like the North Pole and the South Pole, the distance is like that; just the opposite.
We are mad with this lust, but such madness is only perverted. In the original position it is a noble thing. It is self-forgetfulness, sacrifice, reckless sacrifice for the satisfaction of the Prime Cause, the Autocrat whose extent cannot be calculated. It is noble. Such intensity can never by calculated, it cannot come into our calculation here in this plane. Renunciation, liberation, salvation, these are only the negative aspect of lust. But the positive life, the life of sacrifice, the acme is found only there.
Guardian of the Lila
It is unthinkable, unknown and unknowable. We may only conjecture as to this ideal. But if we think that we have obtained that position, if we think that we are the masters of that ideal, then it is finished; we have obtained something else. It is such an inconceivable thing, it is adhoksaja. It can never be caught by any force of our mind, or intelligence; avan manasa gocara. Its existence transcends our mental speculation and logical considerations. But still it exists. And Lalita Devi is of that special temperament; she has a unique importance in the lila of Krsna, as the guardian of the lila.
There are other friends of Radharani. Some are neutral towards Krsna and Radharani, some are a little partial towards Krsna, but Lalita Devi is cent-percent partial towards Radharani's cause. This is Lalita Devi. Her birthday, the day of her appearance, is just before that of Radharani.
The First Meeting
Vrsabhanu Raja had a friendship with Nanda Maharaja. Through Nanda Maharaja, Yasoda heard that her friend Kirtida, the wife of Vrsabhanu Raja, had found a girl of exquisite beauty in a lake somewhere, but She was blind. She went to visit her, to congratulate Kirtida.
Going there, Yasoda took Krsna with her. The ladies were talking and Krsna went up to this beautiful girl. Suddenly She opened Her eyes and saw the boy Krsna first. The story is told like that: when She first opened Her eyes, Radharani saw Krsna. This is lila, eternal incidents, events which are repeated in a particular way, like a drama. One drama is repeated many times in the eternal quarter. By Krsna's will, some glimpse comes to the current mundane brahmanda as an exhibition, to attract the people of this age. It was in that way. The children's union, interchanging their vision.
Afterwards Vrsabhanu Raja came and Kirtida began to nurture the baby girl until She was grown up. Vrsabhanudadhi nava sasi lekhe, Rupa Gosvami describes that the family of Vrsabhanu is compared to the milk ocean and from this, the moon has arisen as Radharani. So beautiful a comparison: as the moon, Srimati Radharani has come from the ocean of Vrsabhanu's fortune. The fortune of Vrsabhanu is compared with the ocean, and from there sprung up Vrsabhanu-nandini Sri Radhika.
But Mahaprabhu accepted parakiya to be the highest attainment. They are not married, but each other's heart did not know anyone else as Their lover. Their hearts automatic connection was full. It is not chance coincidence, but rather fulfilled a necessity. Free love, recklessly crossing the directions and the influence of society and the scriptures, crossing the conceptions of religious sentiment, taking so much risk for the union with Krsna, this holds the highest position.
There are two very fine points here. One is that it is very rarely possible, it is very hard to get that favorable situation. Another is that at this stage one is taking the greatest risk possible, without caring for anything. This is given the supreme-most position, parakiya-madhurya-rasa. In madhurya-rasa these parakiya circumstances are necessary to increase the rasa to its fullest and most intense capacity.
The highest intensity can be produced by such artificial dearth. If we hide the rice or wheat underground to create a shortage of food, then food becomes very valuable. So also the dearth, the rareness, the impossibility of union has been created in parakiya-rasa. To facilitate this relationship, such adjustment is necessary between the two, among the Divine Couple. They are crossing all sort of conceptions of religious sentiments. This is the highest limit. There is no consideration of anything when They meet. At all cost, at all risk They are going to serve each other. The intensity becomes as high as possible. It is managed by Yogamaya to raise it to the highest level. Yogamaya manages in such a way that the union will be most fruitful and pleasing. It is necessary to manage in such a way to maximize Their pleasure.
Understand from the Plane of Sacrifice
In vatsalya-rasa the Lord is showing autocracy, the autocratic nature of exacting affection from the environment. And autocratic nature is also there extracting the highest form of love from the consort group, in madhurya-rasa. We are to understand all these things in a scientific way.
Everything belongs to Krsna. Yasoda prepares everything for satisfying Krsna, to make Him eat, to feed Him. But He is not satisfied to take in that way. Everything belongs to Him; He is the enjoyer of everything, the Absolute. But still aher iva gatih premnah svabhava, just as a snake naturally moves in a crooked way, so the crooked movement of the waves of love is natural. We are to approach it in this way. If we understand these relationships step by step in a scientific way, then we'll be able to answer any questions that may generally come. "What is the ideal of God, that He is a debauchee? He is stealing! How can such things be adjusted with the ideal of the holiness of God?"
Generally people will come and attack in this way. But they forget that they cannot understand; they cannot follow that first this must be understood from the plane of sacrifice, not from the plane of enjoyment or exploitation. It is beyond renunciation and sacrifice; it is dedication. He is the owner and consumer of anything and everything. He can take it in any way. Everything is for Him. And no one has been given a position to comment on this. It is eternal and irresistible; it is the flow of the divine plane. The highest fundamental flow, the flow of the fundamental plane is of such nature. There is no question of morality, because there is not a second party present there. He is the only party. His movement is such. None may question. It is such by nature.
Prepare Yourself for the Absolute Lila
And we, jealous contrarians, will we rebuke Him? We are culpable and are to be punished for that. The universal wave is such. He is the Autocrat. Everything is for Him. He is for Himself. He is not accountable to any person, nor is He required to give explanations to anyone. If that were to be the case, then His Absolute characteristic would be compromised. The Absolute wave is such; it cares for none.
We are represented there. If we can appreciate this, we can have entrance there. In this way we can have a taste of that finest quality of sweetness. We are allowed. If we can adjust, if we do away with all jealousy and maliciousness, we will find in our hearts that it is of the nature of the Absolute sweetness. And then we will be considered bonafide participants in that lila. We will find that we will attain the highest ecstasy in our hearts. We are to prepare ourselves for the Absolute lila.
This is what is necessary for us. We must be open to receive the Absolute wave of sweetness that comes to us; try to understand. Through the divine agent we can prepare ourselves to find this plane of sweetness. This is the background of the lila of Radha-Krsna. Srimad Bhagavatam and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu gave this for us, such a beautiful thing. We must be selfless to the extreme. This is the standard of selflessness, self-effacement, self-forgetfulness, self-surrendering. Then we will be able to participate. The universe, the characteristic, the movement, the sweetness of the Absolute wave, the wave of sweetness Absolute, that is irresistible. It can never be opposed by any force. The ultimate existence of the reality is of such nature. It is not equipoised; it is dynamic. The ecstasy, the happiness is dynamic, and its movement is in such a way.
We can participate if we simply remove all our selfishness, crookedness, and jealous temperament. Then we will be considered fit to connect with that most fundamental wave of Absolute sweetness. This is the background of Radha-Govinda lila. We must prepare ourselves in such a way if we wish to approach that highest plane of divinity. This is Vrndavana, the characteristic of Vrndavana. Mahaprabhu and the acaryas, Bhaktivinoda Thakura and Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura came with this fact to give it to the world.
Mahaprabhu came to tell us of this success in life. Know what is our prospect, that our life can come to such a high level. Try to understand what it is. What is it? Generally we are captured by the lust here, even the animals. Everywhere we find that there is a sort of pleasure that can attract us, but what is that? Try to analyze that. And when the outer malicious defective covers are broken and separated, then we shall find the priti. Originally it is that great thing, the divine love, and the perverted reflection of the divine love is acting in this world. Even the animals and the trees are mad for this satisfaction. What is at the source, the ideal of this charm, try to understand that. In the highest play it is so sweet, it is so pure, it is so desirable; and it is the real fulfillment of us all.
It includes the entire animated world and its parts. It is there, the cause and the divinity is there. The perverted reflection is capturing and giving reaction, giving troublesome reaction to this sense pleasure here. But in the original form it is very wholesome. Return home. Home is sweet. The sweetness, the charm of the home is there. In this way it has been described in Bhagavatam and by Mahaprabhu and Gaudiya Matha, and it is given to us as a general call to understand our own fulfillment. We must fulfill our fate and attain the highest fortune.
Beauty Above Power
Sri Caitanyadeva gave us that; Vrndavana has given us that: Sri Krsna consciousness. Our Guru Maharaja and Svami Maharaja widely have given it, announced to the wide world that Krsna conception, the conception of beauty, harmony, and love. That is at the source, the universal cause, the conception of the Absolute, not anything else. With that fundamental conception we may find relief. We may feel that we are out of danger, we are no longer going to be victims of power.
Affection, beauty, love, harmony is the highest thing ever to come in a conception of this world. In the last scripture of Vyasadeva, he gave it to the world. The very gist, the highest goal of life is here: to connect with the Krsna conception of the Absolute. For those who realize that things are of such a plane, to them even the servitors of Narayana in Vaikuntha seem to be of a very lower status.
Thrown Down to Vaikuntha
He said that if we have too much affinity towards scriptural service, then we will be thrown down to paravyoma. We won't be allowed to take our position in the land of freedom, where spontaneous love is the queen and regulates all. The queen of love will throw us down to Vaikuntha. "Go there, do your duty according to scripture, according to calculation, according to the new excitement created by grandeur, awe, reverence, all these things. Go there."
Only the simple, the plain, the spontaneous service, the hearty service of the Lord reigns here, and we are in the midst of that plain thing. We do not care for any other thing, but only for the object of our love. That is our guide, that is our sastra, that is our everything. We do not know anything else, and we do not want to know anything more.
The subtlest power, the power of affection, the power of love, the power of service, that is considered the highest power ever known to the world. We must give up our legal power or any physical power; we should not care for that. Sakti is such. An example is given of Asutosh Mukherji, a famous Bengali gentleman. He was asked by the government to go to England several times, but his mother did not allow it. So many instances are there; the mother controls the son. Taking the dust of the mother's feet, he can do anything and everything; he feels like that. Affection and love reign; power fails.
Mahaprabhu says that to give this and that to God is self-deception. Give love, love of Krsna, prema. That is anything and everything; that is all in all. Instead of spending money, giving our physical force, all these things, love is the real essence of any existence. Offer that to the Lord. Through that, come to the plane of love, the plane of love that Krsna has created around Him.
God takes the form of Krsna in the plane of love, and that is the most fundamental and most subtle plane. It is behind all this apparent creation of different nature. Come to that plane. Try to penetrate into that plane, where God is Krsna and the paraphernalia is Vrndavana. Try to have admission there in that plane. The happiest form of life we will find there. Mercy is more beautiful than justice. We cannot blame justice. Justice is justice. We cannot think of blaming the spirit of justice. How can we blame that?
Here, there is mercy over justice. We cannot deny that. Who can extend mercy over justice? He must have such power that He can compensate the demands of justice. He has the power of compensation; therefore, He can give mercy. Such an aspect of the Lord comes through love and affection. We want to live there.
The Emperor is Love
Dharma, artha, kama, and the fourth is moksa. We know that this wealth is not real wealth; it is only fascination. It is only progress in the wrong way. So we must try our utmost to get out of this game. We are playing in the hand of Maya, who is fascinating us with these lower things, all this sense pleasure in different forms. We must get out; that is moksa, liberation.
The power infinite and love infinite, attracting love, self-surrender, that is the highest expression of the Infinite. And that is Radha-Krsna, the all-attractive Couple; in the words of our Guru Maharaja, the predominating and predominated moieties. Positive and negative, They may be called. Attraction is the most fundamental element everywhere. All else can be eliminated, ignored, and forgotten, if we come in contact with attraction, love. Everything can be ignored if we are in connection with love.
The fulfillment of our existence, all the existence, everything is love. Love is the principle in the center; it is the only fulfillment of everything, every existence. The very gist of existence is there; it can't be ignored or challenged by any other form or aspect of our substantial existence. Unchallenged and absolute, the king, the absolute, the emperor is love. None can stand in comparison with that. All will have to accept defeat coming in opposition with the principle of love.
Mahaprabhu pointed out that this is the most substantial thing in this world. Whatever we see and find and experience and come in connection with, love is the most central necessity and fulfillment. Srimad Bhagavatam extracts the essence from the whole of the revealed scriptures and says that the most desirable and original thing is love divine. We must not allow ourselves to run hither and thither searching for a base fulfillment. Forcibly focusing our attention, we must concentrate in this direction. This is the highest substance in the creation, meant for us throughout eternity.
Risk Enhances the Mood
Newton, the greatest scientist, said "I know nothing." That is the way. The more one is in the midst of purity, the more he thinks that he is impure. That is the nature of infinite measurement. Because the charm is so infinite, it cannot but be estimated in that way. The more they achieve, the more they thirst for more. Realization towards the Infinite is of that characteristic. The more we can advance, the more we think we are helpless to go further. It does not come into the plane of measurement.
One should understand that love is the real essence of life; without that we should not exist. Love is such a precious innate wealth that we would deny our very life if we do not have that most precious inner wealth: love for Krsna, for the Absolute.
Search for Krsna
Search for happiness, raso vai sah. Search for the best comfort. This is the general question. This should be the only question of the whole world. Search for Sri Krsna. Search, search for love, ecstasy, the highest form of ecstasy. Read and cry. What have I done? What is my necessity, and how am I passing my days? Repent, cry! I have passed my days uselessly; I am a traitor to my own self, I am committing suicide.
Complain against yourself and your so-called friends. We have nothing to do here. Read and cry, do or die! Progress in the right way, or you are inviting your death. The general tenor of life, of all existence will be this. In the most scientific way, search for Sri Krsna, Reality the Beautiful. That is the highest goal of humanity. All problems are solved here. They are all harmonized. There can be no complaint against this attempt. No complaint against this attempt can be normal. Deviation from this general instruction, the general call, is false, unnecessary and injurious. This is the truth, the necessity of everyone, wherever there is life.
The most generalized movement, the most grand and extensive and friendly call is this: "March towards Krsna!" All else should be silenced. All other topics should be stopped, and only if this call remains, the real welfare of the world remains. It is a comprehensive call, a non-sectarian call. It is considered sectarian by aberrant persons, but every normal thinking individual understands that this is the most universal ideal.
Search for Sri Krsna, march towards the divine domain; join the universal march towards the divine domain. Free yourself to go back home, back to God, back to Godhead. We are quarreling in a foreign land for fictitious gain. Save them, and take them all home. Only by the grace of that Absolute is it possible. The wave is coming from there to take us home. Only one who knows our home can give us such news, and can take us there. The call comes from home; it originates from home.