Part Three: Higher Talks
This is clearly depicted in Brhad-Bhagavatamrta. Gradually one will continue on the way to Ayodhya, and from there to Dvaraka, and on to Vrndavana. According to one's stirring in the heart, the current environment will become gradually tasteless.
In line with one's sukrti and inner adaptability, awakening is accomplished by circumstantial influences. With that stirring, the inner soul derives some taste, and according to that taste one adjusts to the environment. In keeping with the internal taste, we recognize our own: this paraphernalia, these friends, this type of service. These seem to be our own. It is very attractive, very, very attractive. Our appeal is according to taste. In this way we feel attraction for some sort of nourishment.
The awakened souls will be able to select the proper environment. Inner taste will guide us. This is very charming and attracts our hearts. We always seem to be helpless. We can't control ourselves. We feel so much attraction for that particular goal. In that way, we will be directed. Intuition will direct us. That will come to us for selection, for acceptance-elimination and acceptance. With the sadhana, with the process of realization, elimination and selection will come gradually.
Why have we come to Krsna? For what reason have we come? Why has Krsna consciousness attracted our soul, our inner heart? Formerly, we had some conception of religion. But why did we leave that, so many formalities, such association, so many friends within that circle? Why did we leave? Who is to take care of us here in Krsna consciousness? Why have we come, taking some risk? The country, the society, the religious conception, why have we left them and come forward for Krsna consciousness? That same tendency will again drive us to select different departments of service in Krsna consciousness.
That inner tendency, the inner hankering, this sort of service is very pleasing. We can't but associate with this sort of service. That will be the guide: cooperation with caitya-guru, the guru inside, the dictator inside. Our guru is outside and inside. When we cannot catch the dictation of the internal guru, we want some guidance from the external mahanta-guru and the scripture. And when we reach a certain stage, from there our ruci (taste) may guide us. Our inner dictating tendency may guide us, as birds and other creatures are guided by intuition.
Higher Vision of Guru
We have seen that Prabhupada took Bhaktivinoda Thakura as guru from the internal consideration. His outside and inside was filled with Bhaktivinoda Thakura, not in the physical sense, but in the spiritual sense. He installed Deities of Vinoda-Vilasa, Vinoda-Rama, Vinoda-Ananda, and Vinoda-Prana in many Mathas. We saw his attempt also through his Gurudeva, Bhaktivinoda Thakura, to approach Radha-Govinda and Mahaprabhu. It was inconceivable, not possible without Bhaktivinoda Thakura's influence in him.
Once I attempted to write something about Bhaktivinoda Thakura, and that became the key to his affection for me. Because I tried to express publicly in a systematic way the greatness and character of Bhaktivinoda Thakura, his attention was drawn to me. It is my own feeling that Prabhupada will give everything to that lofty spirit who is a little attached to Bhaktivinoda Thakura.
Prabhupada Sarasvati Thakura saw Radharani and Gadadhara in Bhaktivinoda, the highest ideal of guru-tattva: Gaura-Gadadhara in madhurya-rasa, and Radharani in Krsna-lila. Prabhupada said that if we raise our head a little higher and look up, then we shall find Radharani and Gurudeva. It is Radharani who is instrumental in accomplishing the function of Gurudeva from behind. The source of grace for the guru is coming from the original source of service and love. He used to see Bhaktivinoda Thakura in that light.
Saksad dharitvena samasta sastrair, we are asked to see Gurudeva not as opaque but as transparent, to such a degree that through him the highest conception of service, the first conception of service can be seen. It can be obtained there. If we are earnest then we shall find the highest link from the original source. We are requested not to see guru as limited in his ordinary personification, but as the transparent mediator of the highest function in his line. If only our vision is deep, we can see that according to the depth of our sraddha, our vision, guru-tattva is very peculiar, very noble, very broad, wide and very deep.
We are warned against thinking that Gurudeva has mortal qualities. Prabhupada in his ideal conduct has shown this to us, how much earnestness one may have for Gurudeva. We have seen this in his practice, in his ways and advice. Bhaktivinoda Thakura was completely awakened within himeverything for Bhaktivinoda Thakura.
What high kind of realized conception Bhaktivinoda Thakura has given us! We should not think that he acquired this knowledge in one lifetime. It may seem, from the ordinary events of life, that this was the natural development of jnana-sunya-bhakti. In his youth, Bhaktivinoda Thakura had some other tendencies. He married twice. Still, that does not negate that he is an eternal servitor of the Lord. Otherwise such intensity and such depth of feeling cannot come abruptly. Prabhupada saw him as the representation of Gadadhara Pandita. He saw Gaura Kisora as Svarupa Damodara and Bhaktivinoda Thakura as Gadadhara Pandita.
Gadadhara Pandita appeared and disappeared during the summer season, under the new moon. Mahaprabhu took the fullest advantage from Gadadhara, and sent him to the most negative position. Gadadhara Pandita gave himself voluntarily to Him. His very heart was drawn by Mahaprabhu, bhava-kanti. And he, just like a shadow, gave the entirety of his wealth to Mahaprabhu. Gadadhara Pandita was a shadow, running after Him as if his heart had been stolen. This Person stole all his wealth, and he was fully dependent on Him. Like a shadow, he is moving after Him.
Radharani has two corresponding moods: She is Radha in Krsna-lila, and in Gaura-lila, the mood of distribution, She is Gadadhara. In Gaura-lila, Krsna Gauranga appears with the bhava-kanti of Radharani as Gadadhara, the man standing by His side like niskincana, one who has lost everything. He is standing there just like a facsimile, only a carcass, only the form without the spirit.
But Gadadhara has so much inner attraction for Mahaprabhu that it surpasses all of His other associates. In Gadadhara we find personified love for Gauranga. No such degree of love for Gauranga can be found anywhere else. Next in affection is Svarupa Damodara. Then comes Rupa and Sanatana, in the madhurya-lila connection; then Nityananda, and Saci Mata in the vatsalya connection. Advaita Prabhu and Srivasa Pandita also have love for Mahaprabhu, but their devotion is of another type. It is not so deep from the point of view of love, but a respectful attachment.
Gadadhara Pandita tolerated injustice his whole life. All wealth was plundered from his heart. As with Radharani, everything is ransacked by Krsna to enhance His lila. And the real owner, he is treated as if he were bankrupt. Gadadhara is bankrupt in his own wealth; that is his position.
He is wholly dedicated to Mahaprabhu. Gadadhara Pandita's position, the part he played, was something like that of Radharani: Her heart stolen by Krsna, the empty body still standing. Radha-bhava-dyuti-suvalitam naumi krsna-svarupam, he was fully engrossed in the conception of Sri Gauranga. Gauranga took everything from him, so he had no other alternative; he was fully absorbed, captured completely by Him.
We find his activity throughout his whole life was like this. Of the other devotees, some were ordered to go to Vrndavana, and some were allowed to go there, but though Gadadhara Pandita wanted to visit Vrndavana with Mahaprabhu Himself, he was denied. When Jagadananda Pandita asked to go there, Mahaprabhu, with hesitation, granted him permission, "Yes, go there, but move always under the guidance of Rupa and Sanatana." He also gave him some special instructions. But Gadadhara Pandita was not allowed to go there.
He was the expansion of Srimati Radharani Herself, yet his peculiar position was such: the Queen of Vrndavana, but now transferred to Navadvipa. His position had become just the opposite; he could not enter Vrndavana! He prayed for permission, but Mahaprabhu did not give it. He said, "No, stay and live here." And he had to do so. Sri Gadadhara Pandita represents the predominated Moiety of the Whole. The Whole consists of predominating and predominated Moieties, and he represents the predominated half. He is one half of the Absolute Truth.
Halo of Radharani
Dasa Gadadhara used to stay near Calcutta, in Harisahara. He was a simple and straight-minded man. One day he approached the Kazi (Muslim Governor), "You Kazi, you must take the name of Krsna!" "Why, I am a Muslim, why should I take the name of Krsna?" "Oh, you have taken already! You have taken the name of Krsna!" And he embraced him. "Yes, you have taken." The Kazi was friendly to him.
We find something more important in Gadadhara Dasa and in his last days he came to take charge of that place in Katwa where Mahaprabhu took sannyasa, and he opened a temple there. Those who are at present in charge of that temple are in the disciplic line of Dasa Gadadhara. His samadhi is also there.
Gadadhara Pandita as Rukmini
Just see what He is and what She is, and what is Her position now. See how Her lover has taken everything from Her, looted everything from Her, leaving Her as a beggar wandering in the street. Radharani, when ransacked to such a degree by Krsna, becomes Gadadhara, the pitiable figure. But Her wealth cannot abandon Her forever. She is the proprietor; the owner cannot be far off. After a long time, all must come to Her again, someday. And those who serve Her in Her day of distress will receive a great remuneration when She recalls Her property.
When He is searching after Himself, trying to taste what sort of ecstasy is in Himself, that self-searching Krsna is Gauranga. He is trying to understand Himself, what sort of ecstasy is within Him. Krsna in the mood of His devotee, that is Gauranga: introspection, self-seeking, searching for His own wealth.
He is also distributing it to others. He is inquiring about Himself and distributing that personally to the public. That is Gauranga, showing how He should be served by serving Himself. He is demonstrating to the public how He should be served. And for that He took the mood of Radharani, to search after Himself. What is there? Why should others come to Him, what is He that so attracts them? And then He is giving Himself to others. Krsna is guru. When Krsna Himself is guru, then He is Gauranga. Guru rupa hari guru rupa harim.
Gadadhara Pandita is radha-bhava-dyuti-suvalitam. The entire wealth of Radharani's feelings, Her sentiments, mood, and even Her luster were taken by Krsna. Radharani voluntarily gave all these things. "I can't allow You to roll on the earth with Your body. I shall enfold You." That emptiness we find in Gadadhara Pandita; he is running after Mahaprabhu as His shadow. But he is not poor. It is his wealth that has given Mahaprabhu such a dignified position.
Some even think that He is superior to Krsna Himself, that magnanimous Gauranga, the public deliverer of Krsna. For our interest, on behalf of the fallen souls, Gaura has come to us for general relief work. We cannot but think that He is greater than Krsna. And Gadadhara Pandita's contribution is there in Him. In the high summer, in the darkest night, Gadadhara Pandita appeared. But that does not mean that we should underestimate him. What is his reality, his nature as Radharani, we have to inquire, understand, and realize.
In another place he wrote that the eternal pastimes are always going on in Navadvipa-dhama. Sometimes they are underground, invisible to us, and sometimes on the surface. Nitya-lila always is invisible to us. Now, suddenly, these two personalities have come to the surface, Gadadhara Pandita and Svarupa Damodara. Both have come. Svarupa Damodara came as Gaura Kisora and Gadadhara Pandita came as Bhaktivinoda Thakura. This is not to be given expression in any and every place. This is concealed truth, not to be expressed everywhere and anywhere. This is the fact: they are always here, continuing their own function, their participation in the lila of Gauranga. Sometimes it is underground, sometimes over-ground, but it is always difficult to recognize them.
Prabhupada wrote, "I suddenly found Svarupa Damodara as Gaura Kisora, and Gadadhara Pandita as Bhaktivinoda Thakurathey most graciously gave me that sort of vision. I could see them as two parsadas, the eternal companions of Gauranga. I found that." It is mentioned in the conclusion to his Caitanya Caritamrta Anubhasya, "Here, in Navadvipa-dhama, the eternal pastimes are going on continuously; only those who have got that deep vision can perceive it."
gadadhara mitra-vara, sri svarupa damodara,
Prabhupada says, "It is very difficult to perceive the sweet will of Sri Gauranga, but if we can lift ourselves to that level, we see that Svarupa Damodara Gosvami and Sri Gadadhara Pandita are always engaged in their service here in Navadvipa. Sometimes it is suppressed and sometimes it is appearing on the surface. In that plane all is going on by the sweet will of Sri Gauranga, without any restriction. But now I find that those two have appeared on the surface as Srila Gaura-Kisora Dasa Babaji and Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura. I have seen it with my own eye of divine service. But this is not to be advertised, not to be given publicity anywhere and everywhere; people will laugh at it. But this is my heartfelt conclusion."
We are the children of a limited soil, we are children of the limited aspect of the world. Many things are impossible for us. We are accustomed to think that everything is impossible. Only that with which I have acquaintance in my little experience is possible, other things are all impossible. We are trained to think like that. But if we think about the Infinite, it is just the opposite. Anything and everything may be possible, bad or good. In the transcendental world, the goodness, the sweetness has no end. And there are different gradations.
Progress by Grace of the Higher
And then, by the grace of the higher world, when they take us in there, we wonderfully have some experience of the transcendental world. It is by their grace, by their mercy, not as a matter of right. That is the highest stage, aprakrta, very similar to this, my world of experience, but it will hold the highest position of existence and sweetness in every way: harmony and ecstasy.
"I shall feed you amply; you won't be able to taste it all. Such sweetness is there in an unlimited way. I can say very easily, give up everything you have. What do you have? Nothing. Your experience and the wealth you have, janma mrtyu jara vyadhi, birth, death, old age and diseaseall will pass, they will leave you. They will disappoint you in the next moment. So, you have nothing. Give up the attraction for the present environment. Come, jump desperately to come near Me, and I shall give you shelter. You will be compensated amply." This is the call of Krsna in Bhagavad-gita.
Mahaprabhu instructed also, "Give up everything, take the name of the Lord and prepare yourself to go to home. You were not created for trifling in this dishonorable life; your home is there. You are in the midst of the cremation ground and if you like, you can go there, to that honorable land. Save yourself from the cremation ground. Save yourself and try to attain your inner fulfillment and the worth of your existence there."
Gaura-Gadadhara represent a complete madhurya conception and more. In Them there is separation, union in separation; Gadadhara Pandita has Radharani's bhava. Although he was the possessor of that wealth, Mahaprabhu took it and he stood empty, plundered, following Mahaprabhu as if his heart had been stolen. Yet, he cannot shun Him, nor leave Him. Wherever Mahaprabhu goes, Gadadhara Pandita runs after Him like a poor man. All his wealth has been stolen. With an empty bag, without any vanity, with a vacant heart he is running in pursuance of Mahaprabhu. That is his position.
Prema-vaicittya, separation in union, union and separation. Like madhurya-rasa, but a vow has been taken. In the temple, both husband and wife may be engaged in the worship of the Lord. Though both of them are present, wife and husband together, some vow is taken so they cannot enjoy. What is their attitude? They do not act as husband and wife, but one is engaged in worship, and the other is supplying the materials for worship. They are separated, but still Gadadhara stands in the position of Radharani. They have taken a vow together. That sort of sambhoga is present, spiritual separation in physical proximity. The highest purity is there, without any enjoyment. Still, it is lila-vilasa, the amorous pastime. It is like that; that is Gaura-Gadadhara.
Sometimes in the case of Radharani and Krsna, They experience prema-vaicittya. They are standing closely together, yet still experience some feeling of separation. So intense is Their feeling. Even though They are together, They are feeling the pain of intense separation. That is prema-vaicittya. A pastime is mentioned wherein Krsna, Radharani, and sakhis are present. Radharani sees Her image in the body of Krsna. It is so transparent, the body of Krsna. Radharani's image is reflected there, and Radharani thinks, "Oh, there is another lady with a golden colored body." She is very much engaged in jealousy. And Lalita comes and explains that the reflection of Radharani is not another sakhi. "That is your reflection on His body." Then She is satisfied.
We are told that service offered when They are in separation has a greater importance than when They are united. When They are separated, They feel great pain, and service at that time is an utmost necessity. Where do we find this greatest necessity? In Gadadhara Pandita, in Radharani. Her bhava is plundered by Mahaprabhu and She is bereft of all Her property. Like the poorest of the poor She is standing. It is so pitiable and pathetic that it demands service. Service here will be of the greatest value. In that state, our service will attract the greatest remuneration; even a little service will earn much of the divine compensation.
Vrndavana is for the Shallow Thinkers
Hearing this, I felt as if I had fallen from the top of a tree. "What is this?" I am a very acute listener, so I was very keen to catch the meaning of his words. The next thought he gave us was that Bhaktivinoda Thakura, after visiting many different places of pilgrimage, remarked, "I would like to spend the last days of my life in Kuruksetra. I shall construct a cottage near Brahma Kunda and pass the rest of my life there. Kuruksetra is the real place of bhajana."
In a game, if the ball is just inches from the goal, but is driven back, it is considered a great loss. In the same way, after a long separation, Krsna is there in Kuruksetra. The hankering for union felt by His devotees must come to its greatest point, but because He is in the role of a king, they cannot meet intimately. The circumstances do not allow the Vrndavana-lila to take place. So at that time, Srimati Radharani needs the highest service from Her group, the sakhis.
Bhaktivinoda Thakura says that in that situation, a drop of service will attract the greatest amount of prema, divine love. In the pastimes of Radha-Govinda, there are two aspects: sambhoga, divine union, and vipralambha, divine separation. When Radha and Krsna are very near to each other, but can't meet intimately, service at that time can draw the greatest gain for the servitors. Therefore, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura says, "I shall construct a hut on the banks of Brahma Kunda in Kuruksetra and contemplate rendering service to the Divine Couple. If I can achieve that standard where the prospect of service is so high, then there is no possibility of returning to this mundane plane at any time."
Rukmini and Satyabhama, the Mahisis (Queens), they must have their original svayam-rupa in Radharani, Lalita, Candravali. That is Sri Rupa's feeling. They are not independent, their origin is in Radharani. And when they come into lawful relation with Krsna in madhurya-rasa, they assume a partial form. The fullness is in Sri Radhika, and the partial expansion in all these mahisis. Radhika and all the other gopis are represented only partially in Dvaraka.
It is peculiar to think that the Pradhana Mahisi, the principal queen, is Rukmini. How could she come from Candravali? And the secondary position represents Sri Radhika, Who is the highest in Vrndavana, in madhurya-rasa. This is a peculiar thing, and we are to follow in this way. Feeling holds the highest place, the highest value, and in a little lower layer, intelligence gets the better hand.
Candravali's special capacity was her intelligence and patience, along with other general qualifications. Radharani's capacity is more emotional. So, in the secondary lila, She obtains the secondary position. Satyabhama represents Radharani, and Candravali, Her main opposition, has the first class position there in a little lower strata. These things are very abstruse and difficult to understand.
Rukmini's characteristic was maintained there in Gadadhara Pandita. Sober, considerate, patient; all these things, all these qualities remained there in him. Therefore, sometimes it is said that he is the avatara of Rukmini. But really, his position was that of Radharani, who was plundered by Krsna, and both combined became Mahaprabhu. That is the peculiar position he holds. Just like a shadow, he cannot leave Sri Gauranga. Wherever Sri Gauranga goes, he follows from a distance. He does not know anything but Gauranga. Still, he is not seen to come forward; He is always in the background. In this way he played his role as Gadadhara Pandita.
The Highest Position of Sacrifice
Nimai Pandita, Sri Caitanyadeva, manifested His character as an impertinent aggressor, and extraordinary genius. Gadadhara Pandita was very much just the opposite. But Gadadhara Pandita had some natural inclination and submission towards Nimai Pandita. And Nimai Pandita also had some special attraction for Gadadhara. Gadadhara Pandita could not face Nimai directly. He felt some sort of shyness around Nimai Pandita. And when Nimai saw that he was trying to remain aloof, He would not let him go, but was always asking him perplexing questions.
Nimai Pandita returned from Gaya as a changed man, as a devotee. Meeting Gadadhara Gosvami, Nimai Pandita addressed him, "Your life is fulfilled. From childhood you are devoted to Narayana, to Krsna, but My whole life is spoiled. I passed My early days in ordinary topics, not cultivating devotion for Narayana. I did not know devotion to Krsna, to Radha-Krsna; I passed My whole life uselessly. But you, Gadadhara, from the very beginning you were a pure devotee of Krsna. You are fortunate enough. I want your grace, so that I may pass My future days in devotional activity."
Gadadhara Pandita, after taking permission from Nimai Pandita, took initiation from Pundarika Vidyanidhi, who is acknowledged to be Vrsabhanu Raja, the father of Radharani. This Pundarika Vidyanidhi was a very great devotee of a higher order. Mahaprabhu gave him the name Premanidhi, instead of Vidyanidhi. Mukunda Datta took Gadadhara Pandita to Pundarika, and he received initiation there.
When Mahaprabhu took sannyasa, Gadadhara Pandita followed Him. He could not live in Navadvipa without Nimai Pandita, who was Krsna Caitanya. He was so much attached that when he found that Nimai would settle permanently in Puri, he took ksetra-sannyasa there. Ksetra-sannyasa is a type of renunciation in which the sannyasi takes the vow of not leaving a particular place for his whole life. So, Gadadhara Pandita came to know that Nimai Pandita would pass the last days of His life in Jagannatha Puri, then he took ksetra-sannyasa there.
Sometimes it is seen that Nimai Pandita is invited to his asrama, where he has installed Gopinathaji. He engaged himself in the worship of Gopinatha. Nityananda Prabhu went there also, and was intimately connected with him. Whenever He went to Puri, Jagannatha Ksetra, He used to stay there.
Gadadhara Pandita used to read the Bhagavatam daily upon the request of Mahaprabhu, Who along with His followers used to hear it from his lips. Mahaprabhu asked Gadadhara Pandita to teach the Bhagavatam to Srinivasa Acarya, and by His will, Srinivasa Acarya became the highest exponent of Srimad Bhagavatam. Bhaktivinoda Thakura is of the opinion that when Mahaprabhu disappeared, He sat on the asana of Gadadhara Pandita and became one with Gopinatha, whom Gadadhara worshiped daily.
So, this is what we know about Gadadhara Pandita, who had a most intimate relationship with Mahaprabhu. Svarupa Damodara, Rupa and Sanatana, Kaviraja, Raghunatha Dasa, all of them, they could see both Radharani and Rukmini in him, in his personality. According to that we can try to understand him, and we shall pray to him.
Other Vaisnava Schools
Vallabhacarya did so, and getting permission from Mahaprabhu, he took initiation into madhurya-rasa. He attained the service of Kisora-Krsna from Gadadhara Pandita. Nowadays, the party of Vallabhacarya does not admit this. They claim to be independent-worshipers in vatsalya-rasa. In this way, their movement follows in that line. And when they come to madhurya-rasa, they give preference to Candravali; they are opposed to Radharani.
The Vallabhacaris are generally worshipers of Gopala. Gopala means boy-Krsna, who is served in the vatsalya-rasa by Nanda-Yasoda. That is their acme of realization. But they do not deny that He has some connection as a consort to the small gopis, and this Candravali is prominent among them. They do not like Radharani. This is the position of the Vallabha school. Vallabhacarya was actually a follower of Gadadhara Pandita. This connection with Candravali came later. That sort of deviation is found in many places in their succession.
The Nimbarka school prefers to worship Radha-Govinda, in svakiya-rasa, as married husband and wife, not in parakiya-rasa, as paramours.
Madhurya and Audarya
When one is in Gaura-lila and a hankering comes to have the darsana of Krsna-lila, then Gaura-Gadadhara appear as Radha-Krsna. And when participating in Radha-Krsna-lila, if one sometimes has any desire for Gaura-lila, Radha-Govinda are transformed into Gaura-Gadadhara. In this way, when one has a hankering for service in a particular lila, the Lord manifests Himself with that paraphernalia, that nature, to satisfy the inner will of the devotee, giving facility to that sort of service. A peculiar tendency of service arises at times in the heart of the devotee, and the Lord appears in a way to receive that service.
Sometimes a servant sees his master in a plain dress. Suppose he has some desire to see his master in a gorgeous dress. Then the master, when he comes to know of this desire, will appear before him in a grand and gorgeous dress. Sometimes He may appear as a king, as a lover, as a friend, according to the demand, according to the circumstance and the paraphernalia. But everything is eternal, there is only a change of pace. Some devotees see in one way, others in another way. Bhaktivinoda Thakura says that They are Gaura-Gadadhara and Radha-Krsna. Another devotee standing by the side, he may not see that.
Then Ramananda stated, "Who are You? I don't think You are an ordinary sannyasi scholar. Tell me who You are. You are Krsna Himself. I have a great impression, an inspiration like that. You must not hide Yourself from me. First I saw You as an ordinary sannyasi, preaching about devotion to Krsna, but gradually as You rose in a gradual ascending process in Your inquiry, doubt arose in my mind."
"You have come to me. I have not gone to You. You have kindly come to me to purify this nasty person. And now You conceal Yourself from me. I can't understand. But whoever You may be, I am sure that what You are inquiring after, You are that thing. Gradually my vision, my estimation of You is changing, changing, changing. First I saw You as a sannyasi, a brahmana, a devotee. Gradually I am of the opinion that You are syama gopa rupa, that cowherd boy, the Absolute in the garb of cowherd boy. What is the peculiar thing I am seeing? That a golden figure is just standing by Your side and the grace of that Lady has covered Your body. I see like that. What is this? What is the mystery? Please divulge it to me. With folded hands I ask You."
Then Mahaprabhu told Ramananda that His color is not golden, but by the touch of Radharani it appears like molten gold. "Her grace has covered Me, and She never touches anybody but Her Lover, the cowherd Krsna. So who am I? Now you see and know for yourself. Rasaraja, the highest ecstasy personified and the highest appreciator of that ecstasy, combined together."
Ramananda could not stand any longer there, he could not retain his normal position. Then he again saw that sannyasi, that golden sannyasi sitting in front of him. After a pause, Mahaprabhu said, "Now it is late, I am going." Ramananda fainted there and Mahaprabhu went away to the brahmana's house. Only once did Mahaprabhu show Himself in this way to Ramananda, and never anywhere else in His whole lila. There He expressed Himself, showed Himself in that form, "Who am I? Who am I?" Bhaktivinoda Thakura related this.